Thursday, August 14, 2008

NO EXCUSE SUNDAY: DEDICATED TO MISSING CHURCH ATTENDEES!

To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday": Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in." There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that our pews are too hard. Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Saturday night. We will have steel helmets for those who say, "The roof would cave in if I ever came to church." Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot. Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present. Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to church and cook dinner, too. We will distribute "Stamp Out Stewardship" buttons for those that feel the church is always asking for money. One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature. Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday. The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them. We will provide hearing aids for those who can't hear the preacher and cotton wool for those who think he's too loud! Hope to see you there!

Way of the Pastor,
Joe Drew

1 comment:

  1. I'll take a cot right up front please. I would have listened intently... I'm telling you!

    I start wondering tho... why do people not make it to church. I can understand if you have somewhere to go... a place to drive to... or something to that effect. Even if you are sick I'll excuse it. But... if you just miss because you have work to do... or you just didn't feel like going... you sometimes miss out on a sermon you probably needed to hear... or maybe God had a blessing that you would have received? But.. you will never know sitting at home will you?

    Saying that... let me explain that God can talk to you anywhere but I am under the belief that God didn't create you to worship by yourself. For example... for the most part... the disciples stuck together..

    I think we need that on Sunday... we need to share with others... be with them... worship with them... It let's us know that there are others with us in the battle!

    ReplyDelete